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Values and Goals

Values determine how people actually live. However, religious beliefs do not always determine people’s values. Therefore, it is impossible to say whether a person truly values a relationship with God or the ministry of the church, even if he is a Christian. It is also impossible to be confident that the person values other people’s time until we confirm that he is not late and completes tasks on time. A lot can be said about people from the way they spend their free time, what they spend their money on, and what they place first on their list of priorities.

It is advisable for spouses to practice the same system of values. Differences certainly will remain, even if only because of gender. But if the main values of the spouses are opposite – a happy marriage in such a case is impossible.

Values also determine the goals which we aspire to achieve. The objective of this topic is to help you find out each other’s goals and values, develop common goals, and to imagine how to achieve them together.

Name five main values in their order of importance to you:

In the frame of the following categories, describe goals that you set for yourself in marriage. Be as specific as possible.

1. Education/Training

2. Work/Career

3. Church

4. Money

5. Buying things

6. Family/children

7. Recreation

8. Other (describe)

The above mentioned goals are named in random order. Write them down in the order of their importance to you:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

Write them down in the order in which, in your opinion, they would be written by your bride/groom.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

One Goal Achieving

1. Choose one of the above categories. Describe the successive measures necessary to achieve the specified goal.

2. What is your role in the achievement of this goal? What will you be doing?

3. What is the role of your companion? What do they need to do?

4. When, in your opinion, is the achievement of this goal possible?

5. What will you do if your goals are not realized within the determined time and with the resources that you were intending to use?

Counselor's final notes

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