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Family Legacy

Our expectations are often determined by our upbringing, where were raised, and our previous experiences.

1. In the following table, various characteristics of family life are listed. Indicate how true they are in regards to the family in which you were brought up.

Family atmosphere
We made decisions together
We freely expressed our feelings with others in the family
We had free choice and the opportunity to learn from our own mistakes
Others cared about what I had to say and made an effort to understand me
All members of the family were equals
I was allowed to do what I wanted
I feared my father
I feared my mother
I had conflicts with my family members
I felt awkward around my family members

2. Choose the appropriate description depending on how you felt during your life with family.

My status in the family
Sport/physical condition
Educational achievements
Music
Money
Shopping
Work effort
Ability to control the situation and yourself
Ability to overcome hardships
Belief in God
Neatness in my room
Respect of others
Ability to forgive

3. I my family I was the  child.

4. Describe your relationship with your father.

5. What do you and your father have in common?

6. How are you and your father different?

7. Describe your relationship with your mother.

8. What do you and your mother have in common?

9. How are you and your mother different?

10. What similarities and differences do you see between your fiancée and your respective parent of the same gender?

11. What do you want the family in which you were brought up and the family you are planning to have in common?

12. How will your family be different from the one in which you were brought up?

Complete the following staments and then share your thoughts with your significant other

13. This is what you need to undestand about my experience growing up in order to undestand me better:

14. If I could change something about my family, or where I was born, it woudld be...

15. Since I don't want our family to be subject to the same problems, I...

16. My parents affected my opinions in the following way:

17. From the family life of my parents, I'd like to replicate...

18. I wouldn't want the things that happened to my parents' marriage to happen in my family life...

Concluding thoughts of your counselor

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